In pursuit of identity


A major part of Travelling is meeting new people and having great conversations as you never know who you are going to meet and what will you end up talking about. That, in essence, is the beauty of this surprise. That may also introduce you to your identity.

Something such happened when he met a Moroccan girl from France, and interestingly, it began the moment they sat down to dinner, when she said, in a low inquisitive voice…

The questions that you have for yourself are more career-related questions, right?

He says: Yeah, I guess!

She says: You believe that your job defines you?

He says: Nope, but since it takes a major part of the day of my life, it has to have its fair share of influence on what will become of me.

Essence and Identity
– Floating village, Siem Reap, Cambodia.

She says: But, surely you are so much more than this…

  • Routine says more about who you are than your job.
  • Your open-mindedness and self-awareness and curiosity too. Your approach to life in other words.

Which of this is your essence?

He says: Well, my approach to life is what I believe defines my character. However, what I do or plan to do as a part of my routine and job will always have an effect on shaping up some innate attributes which will eventually play a role in the character definition.

She says: Ok, so you stick with “you are your character/personality”?

He says: I guess.

She says: But, don’t you believe that character/personality changes over time?

Is who you are, only temporary then?

He says: My approach towards life defines me. Events, situations, and circumstances have a role to play in my attitude towards life, and hence, however dynamic it is, I can say “Personality” is a constant change”.

She says: So, even your “Essence” changes? There is no stable part of self?

He says: Essence, I don’t think so.

She says:    The reason for this question is if someone loves you, what do they love about you? Do they keep falling in love with the changing you?

He says: Essence is the foundation of character. If that changes within me, I lose myself.

If I were to love someone, I would love without judgments. Be open to taking in all the flaws.

Maybe, one plays an important part in the changing attitudes of one’s partner, and if one is playing a part, one might as well be open to adapt to the change that he/she always tried to see in his/her partner.

She says: But sometimes, you don’t play a part. Yet, people change. What is it you love about them?

She says: Also, you said…

“Essence is the foundation of character. If that changes, you lose yourself”.

What exactly would you be losing?

He says: I will lose myself and who I used to be if I have no clue about the changes that are happening in and around me.

She says: And, is that your identity, what you see as right or wrong?

He says: If I know what the changes are, I am still in control of my essence. If I want to change that willingly or unwillingly, as long as I know the change is happening, I am in control (somewhat).

The real problem occurs when you don’t even know what and how have things changed around you as a person, because then, you may be dwelling in an essence which is not the true “you” anymore. Thus, you lose yourself.

She says: Ok, so your identity is based on your character and your essence is based on your awareness of your morality.

He says: My awareness feeds my essence which builds my character which further forms my identity.

She says: What is the difference between essence and identity?

He says: For me, the essence is principles by which you live and identity is what people see in you and form their opinions. In a way, it is like saying…

I am responsible for what I say; I am not responsible for what you interpret!

           If you are reading this, thank you for taking your time out. This is an excerpt from a conversation which I thought was worth sharing.

It will be awesome if you could post your thoughts on the same in the comments section below and also share it with your friends and more wannabe travelers.

The conversation does not necessarily have to stop here, instead, I hope this is the starting point of many such conversations with you and everyone who writes back!!!! Stay wannabe!

P.S. The featured photograph in this post has been taken by me using an iPhone 6 only.   

6 thoughts on “In pursuit of identity

  1. Thank you so much. I am Glad you liked it and hope that it helped your put your thoughts into perspective too.
    Would love to know your thoughts on the subject too 😊

  2. That “he”? Is that you?
    “Essence is the foundation of character. If that changes within me, I lose myself.”
    I agree. People will change with the change of the environment.
    The environment in which one grows up has the greatest influence on one’s life.
    After as adults, the circumstances of life change, but the essence is more difficult to change.
    I’ve seen a lot of research documentaries about this change.The twin brothers or sisters were raised in different families.Live a different life, have a different mind.
    When they grow up, they are arranged to meet again and live together.But they see things differently.As a result, they often quarrel with each other.They finally broke up.
    Another story is about “Wolf child”, I think you should know this story.
    I grew up in a very healthy family,The relationship between parents is harmonious.
    My grandmother has a deep influence on me.
    She is a very kind old woman.She can make clothes and shoes.People gave my grandmother various rewards.Someone give vegetables, someone give snacks, someone give tips, someone give nothing.Haha.But my grandmother never complained.She even invited beggars over for dinner.Her actions have educated me.So I also became a kind person.When I grow up.As the environment changes.Meet different people and friends.Different things.My personality and temper are also slowly changing, but they will only get better and better, Because of my essence, I will choose to make friends with people like me or better than me, and learn to solve problems instead of complaining about them.

    1. Hello Meizhou!

      Yes, that “He” is me 🙂

      I love what you shared about your grandmother. Thank you, thank you, thank you 🙂

      When I started the blog I wondered what kind of people will read my stories and what will they think of me. A friend told me that’s too heavy writing for a travel website.

      I told my friend that this blog is not a regular travel website which has Top 10 things to do kind of blogs. It has to be more meaningful. I want people to understand what really happens when you travel. You don’t just see snowcapped mountains, deep blue sea, white sandy beaches, exotic animals etc.

      Real travel is much more than that. Real travel changes you as a person and helps you find yourself, and that’s exactly what my blog is about.

      There is a saying “What you seek, is Seeking you”. Every person has his or her own journey to find what they seek from their travel and build their own Essence and leave behind a legacy of thoughts.

      Today, I am glad that I decided to write what I did. Your comment about your Grandma really made me happy. I found the reason why I started my blog. Thank you again 🙂

  3. Saheb, thank you for your reply, this “conversation” makes me feel that you are a philosopher. I like to read some books on psychology and philosophy. The content inside makes me like I entered another world. A world full of love and philosophy. Spiritual satisfaction is far more pleasing than material satisfaction. We believe that our essence is the same. I finally understand what is going on in your training school.

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